For Men
Is your girlfriend pregnant? Are you unsure of what to do? Perhaps you are wondering if she is even carrying your baby. Maybe friends and family are encouraging you to push her to have an abortion.
Whatever your situation, you are not alone. Lots of couples experience a surprise pregnancy and immediately worry about how it will affect their future. Abortion seems like an easy and legal choice but it does have consequences that you may not understand.
Her choices are hard. Your choice can be to help her make them.
It’s hard to realize but she can choose to have an abortion without your permission. Many women who have had abortions report that they were waiting for their boyfriends/husbands to stop them. Some even say that they had been hoping the father of their baby would "rush through the door of the abortion clinic to rescue me and take me away somewhere safe."
She needs your friendship now more than ever. It’s difficult to determine if you are the father of the baby until after the birth of the baby. If you’ve been with her sexually, assume that you are probably the father of her baby. The world says that abortion is “a woman’s choice” but the woman in a crisis pregnancy rarely wants to make that choice alone. She is looking to you for support because she can’t confide in many people about this crisis situation.
When women hear men say, “Don’t look at me to tell you what to do,” they automatically believe the man wants the abortion. Be careful that you don’t say something that you could regret. Assure her that you will stand beside her in whatever way she needs through this crisis. Inform her immediately that she doesn’t need to have an abortion to please you. Tell her you want to help her in making choices that will affect your future.
Ask Yourself These Questions
- If she became pregnant will I leave her?
- Am I ready to support a child with my time, energy, and money for at least the next 18 years?
- Will I go with her to tell her parents the news?
- Am I willing to give my child a two-parent family?
- I know that I have no legal say in the choice she makes with the baby. She may decide to keep the baby or to have an abortion. In either case am I prepared to live with that decision?
- Will our relationship survive an abortion decision?
- Would I be willing to make an adoption plan for my child?
Having a baby doesn’t mean the end of your dreams. If Birthright can help in anyway, please let us know at 410-838-0443.
To eliminate some security risks associated with Internet Explorer 6, we no longer support that browser. IE6 users are encouraged to upgrade to the latest version of Internet Explorer, or to Firefox for an improved website experience.