For Men
She says she might be pregnant - what do you do? This may be a complete shock to you. Perhaps you feel OK about it. Perhaps you feel angry that it's happened. Perhaps you feel desperate to "do something" about it. You might be wondering if it's even yours. Maybe your friends and family are encouraging you to push her to have an abortion. Whatever you're feeling, your response to the situation will affect your partner.
Men are often the forgotten partners during a crisis pregnancy. However, at Birthright, men are welcome to ask questions and receive information concerning their options. All services provided to men and women are completely free and confidential. All clients are treated with compassion and respect.
When it comes to life's huge decisions regarding family, men are central players, not onlookers. There is simply no reason for you to be any less informed then a woman. At Birthright you are a primary concern.
She Might Be Pregnant
Don't panic - The first thing you need to do is have a pregnancy test and learn about your options. Birthright provides a confidential and free pregnancy test along with many support services. Our center exists to help both you and your partner come to an informed decision. To help her understand your support, come with her for the pregnancy test. Being there will reassure her that you care.
Ways You Can Help
- Find out what she is expecting of you in this situation.
- Many men feel at a loss about how to help when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. A first instinct is often to say, "Whatever you choose, I'll support you". This sounds positive but she may interpret it to mean: "The decision is yours. I don't want to take responsibility." Whereas some women might welcome this attitude, some feel that the decision making process becomes more difficult as a result. Share the responsibility to choose.
- Few women want to make a choice about a pregnancy without the support of their partner.
- She has a right to make an informed decision - help her to look at all the information available on all the options. Birthright can assist you in exploring the situation fully.
- She will probably be feeling very emotional and overwhelmed so be patient with her. Don't base decisions on your emotions.
- Ask her for some time to think and reassure her that you aren't going to abandon her. Even in the best of circumstances a pregnancy is scary.
As the Potential Father...
What Are My Rights?
As a father, even if you are married, you have no legal rights to prevent or insist upon abortion or continuing the pregnancy. Legally she can have an abortion without your consent or even your knowledge. If she has told you, then she is looking for your input and support. She needs your friendship now more than ever.
How Can Birthright Help Me?
We are available to answer your questions, assess your situation, make you aware of the resources in your community, and equip you with knowledge so you and your partner can make an informed decision about your pregnancy. All Birthright services are free and confidential.
If She is Pregnant
Abortion seems like an easy and legal choice but it does have consequences that you need to be aware of. Abortion is a permanent decision - be sure first. The world says that abortion is "a woman's choice" but rarely does the woman want to make this decision alone. Even if she ultimately doesn't take your advice, she wants to hear it. If you are silent she will automatically believe that you want the abortion. Be careful that you don't say something you could regret. Assure her that you will stand beside her in whatever way she needs during this crisis. You don't need to have all the answers now and help is here if you need it.
If it Turns Out to Be a False Alarm
I know you must be relieved and want to forget this scare ever happened, but wait. Take some time to think about it. If you continue to have sex there is always a chance that a pregnancy could occur.
Ask yourself:
Am I ready to be a parent?- Do I want to have a child with this person?
- What would I do if a pregnancy occurs?
- Can I support a child with my time, energy, and money for at least 18 years?
- Am I willing to marry to give my child a two-parent home?
- Am I willing to make an adoption plan for my child?
- Am I prepared to live with the fact that my child was aborted?
- Will our relationship survive this?
By asking these questions now you can make better decisions in the future. Are you ready for the responsibility of a pregnancy? Think about it.
Having a baby doesn't mean the end of your dreams. If Birthright can help in any way, please let us know at 410-838-0443.
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